The Beauty of Biblical Submission in Marriage

Submission in marriage doesn’t come naturally. It challenges my pride, my independence, and my desire to be in control. However, as I’ve grown in Christ, I’ve discovered submission isn’t about losing, but about gaining freedom, unity, and joy in God’s design.

Submission in marriage is a topic that can feel challenging or even controversial in today’s culture. Many misunderstand it as a loss of value, independence, or voice. But Scripture presents it in a very different light.

In Ephesians 5:21–22, wives are called to submit to their husbands as an act of reverence to Christ. This isn’t about blind obedience; it’s about reflecting God’s beautiful design for unity, love, and mutual respect in marriage. And just to be clear: submission never means following into sin. Our ultimate obedience is always to Christ.

Rooted in Christ

Biblical submission flows from reverence for Christ. It is first and foremost an act of worship. When Paul writes, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22), he reminds us that submission is not because husbands are perfect or always deserving, but because of Christ. John Piper once explained that submission isn’t about blindly yielding to every request. Instead, it’s a Christ-dependent disposition to follow the husband’s lead. That perspective has been incredibly helpful to me.

Personally, I’ve found submission to be a journey of daily growth and dependence on the Holy Spirit. During premarital counseling and even now in my marriage, one of my constant prayers has been: “Lord, help me die to my flesh and grow in humility so that I can joyfully submit to Michael.”

It hasn’t been an overnight transformation. As my relationship with Christ deepens, my desire to honor and respect Michael naturally grows. But when I drift from daily communion with the Lord, my flesh takes over, and it often shows most clearly in my role as a wife. Submission has reminded me that my obedience to God is never dependent on Michael’s actions, just as his calling to love me is not dependent on mine. Ultimately, we each answer to the Lord for the roles we play in marriage.

What Submission Isn’t

It’s important to say what submission is not:

✨It does not mean I am less valued by God.

✨It does not mean I never speak or that I’m a doormat.

✨It does not mean I follow blindly without thought or voice.

God created me as Michael’s helpmeet (Genesis 2:18). That means he seeks my input, we talk through decisions, and we walk in partnership. But ultimately, he carries the responsibility of final leadership, and I trust God’s wisdom in that order. Even in 1 Peter 3, wives are called to submit even if their husbands don’t know the Lord because their godly character may win them over. What a powerful witness!

Living It Out

To make this practical, here are a few questions I’ve asked Michael :

✨How can I honor and respect you better?

✨How can I be a better helper to you?

✨In what areas have I not fully submitted to you?

Conversations like these have opened my eyes and deepened our marriage. Scripture gives us such clear instructions as wives: to be helpers (Genesis 2:18), to submit (Ephesians 5:22), to respect (Ephesians 5:33), and to love our husbands (Titus 2:4). Our husbands won’t always get it right, and neither will we. But when we choose to honor their efforts just as we desire them to honor ours, our marriages reflect Christ beautifully.

Over the past several years, God has been teaching me so much about submission. Far from being restrictive, it has brought freedom and joy to my heart. Submission honors God, blesses my husband, and strengthens our marriage.

Reflection:

💭 In what areas of your marriage might God be inviting you to trust Him more deeply through submission?

🙏🏾 Lord, help me to honor You in the way I love, respect, and submit in my marriage. Shape my heart to reflect Christ and teach me to walk in humility and joy.

✨ Finally, I’d love to hear from you! What has God been teaching you about submission in marriage? Share in the comments so we can encourage one another.